Lester vs Angry Casey
by dwennie
Summary: Lester enlists the help of Jeff and Morgan in an attempt to cheer Casey up. Disaster ensues, and more than one face gets slammed into a wall. Oneshot.


**This is my first Chuck story, and as my science teacher would say, youpi! I welcome all reviews, good, bad and ugly, so please leave me one? There aren't enough Lester fics out there, so here's mine.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned them. That right belongs to someone much luckier than me. I just take them out for a spin, and I put them back where I found them. Promise!**

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The next thing Lester was aware of was lying flat on his back on the floor. Put there by the infamous John Casey himself. He wasn't even sure what he had done. One second he was by the Buy More entrance, the next a huge, calloused hand had made contact with his carefully groomed face, and he had been unceremoniously dumped on the floor.

Grumbling incoherently, he pushed himself back to his feet, glaring at Casey's retreating figure. That man was wound tighter than a drum.

"That dude's got major issues," Jeff said from his position behind him, his jaw as slack as ever and his eyes somewhat unfocused.

"Jeffrey, you're absolutely right. We need to cheer him up, not only for us but for the world in general," Lester announced excitedly, pointing at him in euphoria with eyes alight with an excitement that usually came before a terrible catastrophe.

Jeff's eyes widened in fear. "No way, man. My mom warned me about his type, run the other way or get them _hammered_."

"Jeff, Jeff! Don't you see? This is _our_ chance, our chance to be real heroes. All we have to do is turn John Casey into an almost friendly human being. Do it for BuyMoria."

He turned back to face Lester at those words, a fierce determination burning alongside the inebriation in his eyes. "For BuyMoria?"

Lester nodded.

"The land of the geek and the home of the slave," Jeff announced, causing Lester to pat him on the back sympathetically.

His best friend sighed in resignation. "You don't even know what that's from," he moaned in despair.

He steered Jeff away from the entrance and back towards the Nerd Herd desk, dragging Morgan over too as they passed him. It's not like he was going to sell that laptop anyways; everyone knew how hopeless he was.

"Hey, woah, I was with a customer, Lester!" Morgan protested, glancing over his shoulder at the aggravated woman.

Lester ignored him and yanked both Jeff and Morgan's heads down to form a huddle. "We have a new mission," he stated formally, as serious as he could be.

Morgan's annoyance vanished in a flash. "The objective?"

"Turn Casey into a booze-drinking man whore," Jeff proclaimed, earning him two very surprised looks.

Lester's face was now the image of fear and incredulity. "...Not _quite_."

Morgan moved his hands in small circles, as if to say, "Elaborate please."

"We want to turn John Casey into a happy person."

Morgan looked, if possible, more shocked. "Is it _safe_?" he asked worriedly.

Lester was ready for that question, and had his answered prepared. "It's for the greater good—BuyMoria."

His words seemed to reach the bearded little man, and he nodded slowly in acceptance. "The plan?"

There was a pause while Lester mulled over the possibilities. Slowly but surely, a grin spread over his face until he looked positively terrifying.

"A surprise party, his house. Today. We'll invite _everyone_."

Jeff and Lester nodded solemnly, pledging their allegiance to the risky cause. They placed their hands in the middle of the huddle, and with a muffled "Break!" they broke apart to notify the rest of the nerds. A few short minutes later, and they were all back at the Nerd Herd desk.

"The nerds are in," Lester proclaimed seriously. "Let's go, we've only got a few hours to prepare."

"I'll make my special punch," Jeff said in a deadpan, and Lester nodded his approval.

They had gotten all the way to Casey's apartment before Morgan noticed something very important that they had seemed to overlook.

"How exactly are we getting in?"

Without a word, Jeff pulled out a paper clip and in less than a minute, Casey's front door was unlocked.

"Wow, I never knew that actually worked," Lester said, impressed but also slightly wary.

"Mom taught me so much," Jeff reminisced.

Lester and Morgan exchanged perplexed glances, but followed Jeff into the apartment without a word. Luckily for Casey, all of his spy gear was safely locked away in the Castle, and there was nothing incriminating or of interest left vulnerable to the three intruders. Within minutes, the three nerds had begun preparing the place for the party of a lifetime.

It was nearing 6:30 when John Casey returned, having just completed a mission with Chuck and Sarah. He unlocked his door, well prepared for a nice night with a bottle of scotch, surveillance equipment, and a large plate of cookies. Unfortunately, all of those relaxing thoughts were thrown out the window when he opened the door.

"SURPRISE!"

The resounding yell reverberated from the four corners of his house as the entire staff of the Buy More, minus Chuck, jumped out from their various hiding places.

Hearing the loud noise, Chuck and Sarah came running, only to see the spectacle unfolding before them. They followed Casey as he ventured cautiously into his apartment, a fierce scowl on his face while he dodged around the beer-toting nerds. Chuck and Sarah were sporting barely concealed grins as they took the sight in. The place was a disaster; Morgan, Lester, and Jeff were clearly not the best decorators. Confetti littered the floor, streamers were _everywhere_, and countless balloons, both inflated and popped were floating around like ghosts.

And worst of all was Casey's most prized possession. His framed photograph of Ronal Reagan lay in pieces on the floor. This, it seemed, was the final straw for Casey. Slamming the "off" switch on the stereo, he yelled, "Whose _highly intelligent_ idea was this?"

The nerds, quickly catching onto the anger in his voice, pointed to either Morgan, Jeff, or Lester. Upon catching a glimpse of Casey's face, the three shrunk back against the wall in pure terror.

Casey crossed the room in two seconds flat, and the next thing they knew, Jeff, Lester, and Morgan had their faces squished into the wall.

"You think this is funny?" Casey growled, fury burning in his face. "You ever come in here again, and you won't be so lucky. Got it?"

They nodded as best they could while pressed against the wall.

Casey raised his voice over the clamour. "Okay, I want this place spotless in 5 minutes, and if your asses aren't out the door by then, then I'm going to kick them there."

There was a stunned silence.

"MOVE!" he yelled again.

The nerds rushed around in a panic, and by some miracle the place was cleaned and nerd-free in under 5 minutes. Now it was just Sarah, Casey, and Chuck left in the apartment. Sarah and Chuck took one look at Casey and practically ran for the door.

Before they were much past the door, Casey stopped them. "Did you know about this?" demanded Casey, poking Chuck in the chest forcefully.

"Me? No, I didn't," Chuck shrugged honestly, barely managing to hide his grin.

Casey growled in annoyance before slamming the door in their faces.

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**FIN**

**Thanks for reading, and an extra thank you if you review. :)**


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